In honor of Valentine's day.
So you're single, huh? You hate it, right? If only you could find that ONE person and all your problems would be solved forever, eh? Well, here are some reasons why being single is AWESOME. And a few downsides too, because they do exist.
Just a note: this is from the perspective of "you're eventually going to be single or married." I could probably write an entire other post on why dating should include a long range point of view, and perpetual dating just for fun is like chasing the wind, but now is not the time.
PROS OF BEING SINGLE--
You have more free time. When you aren't going out on dates, you can be doing something else that you always wished you had time for, like sleeping, or listening to audiobooks, anything really. Plus, a lot of those fun things that you do on dates, like go to fancy restaurants or the movies, or walking in the park? News flash- you can totally do those with your friends too!
You can focus on your career.
The woman is usually (but not always) the one who ends up taking care of the children once marriage rolls around. Some stay at home moms end up running awesome Etsy shops, but most of them just end up browsing Pintrest while the baby naps and dreaming that they had the time or energy to run awesome Etsy shops. If you've ever thought about running your own business or working in a time-consuming field, now is the time. In addition, if you end up being the breadwinner, whether you are male or female, you often have to choose between the work you really wish you were doing and the work that will support your clan.
You don't have to worry about raising kids.
For many people, singleness is only a certain time of your life, and a family with munchkins to train will come later. But hey, at least right now you don't have to freak out about whether your litter will be able to survive on your cooking, or whether you'd know what to tell them when they need your help.
You only have one mouth to feed.
If you're a guy, especially in the Christian circles, you're expected to do the traditional stuff like pay for dates (to nice restaurants, no less), and eventually provide for an entire family. Yikes! Where did the money you were saving for an X-box go?? There are plenty of girls who pay for dates too, and relationships definitely cost money and time both ways, but there's no denying that no matter your gender, being single will probably save you some money.
Your decisions only affect you.
This isn't universally true: everyone's decisions affect everyone else in some way, but when you're single, you don't have to consult with a significant other over every semi-major choice. You want to eat with the cooking utensils to save on dish washing? Hey, nobody else is there to complain about your spit on the spaghetti! You want to pack up and move to Seattle? You don't have to convince the love of your life to want to live there too. Spontaneous vacations? Heck yeah!
Choosing difficult lifestyles is easier.
If you suddenly realize the Paleo diet is what you've been missing all this time, but your significant other is a junk food connoisseur, or even just really likes pasta, you've got a problem. Minimalism is another example. You can pare down your stuff all you want, but when you're sharing your space and your life with someone else who isn't as excited to jump on the train, it can be hard to reconcile those differences. Relationships are give and take, and if you're one of those people who like to make things hard on yourself, being single just makes it less stressful, unless you happen to find someone just as crazy in the same way as you.
You can live jewelry free!
Okay, maybe this one is just me. Has anyone noticed that being in a relationship is all about the bling? Okay, that was a cheesy word, and that's not universally true. People like to wear stuff that their bf/gf got them to signify commitment. But one of my biggest worries about my eventual inevitable marriage (back when I assumed that I would get married like the average person) was about engagement rings. I have never been big on jewelry. Ever. Rubber bracelets were an occasional thing, but that's about as far as it went. My ears aren't even pierced. I almost shudder at the thought of wearing necklaces. And rings are just weird. Wearing a ring every day for the rest of my life? No way! So get a tattoo, my friends suggested, but I don't like that idea either. I guess I'm hopeless. Good thing I'm single, huh?
CONS OF THE SINGLE LIFE--
It could get really lonely.
Even for an introvert, having friends is super important. But once all your friends start pairing off, suddenly you're feeling like an outlier. (I had the pleasure of -sort of- being a 7th wheel a few weeks ago. I was tickled at the concept, so it wasn't that bad, but I'm sure it'd get old fast.) Not only will you feel like there's no one to hang out with, but you'll probably feel like your friends and family are judging you. There might be pressure to just FIND SOMEBODY. But remember that your happiness shouldn't depend on just one person. You'll be okay.
Cuddle-envy.
Sometimes nights are cold. Sometimes you're just in a snuggly mood. There are times you just wish you could kiss someone, dangit! And for many (most?) people, there are sexual urges beyond that. It's a real struggle, knowing that you have to contain your desires to maintain your purity. It's important, despite these struggles, to avoid the empty satisfaction of pornography, or even emotional pornography aimed towards women, masquerading as romance novels*. And it's hard. One of the hardest things about single life.
*There have been multiple articles written about this concept from both sides of the issue. There are no clear lines and I'm not going to get into that right now.
Sometimes you're just not strong enough on your own.
I cannot open jars. It is an unfortunate truth. Mourn with me. Maybe I should get one of those rubber grippy things. Then my whole life would improve. In other categories, maybe you're someone who feels emotionally week and just needs someone to always be around, a shoulder to cry on, or you need literal protection. Or maybe you have the muscle but you need the voice of reason? People need people, so even if you're single, it's hard to live in isolation.
Money.
Hey remember how I said living alone might save you money? Well, I guess it really depends, because the more dependents you have the more tax cuts you get. Also, splitting the cost of things roommate-style is pretty effective, if both people work (which would be more common, I assume, before kids come 'round.) Plus if one of you really likes math then it's a weight off the shoulders for financial planning. But what do I know? Maybe finances are simpler when you're single, maybe not. Don't ask me, cuz this is the first year I've ever filed a tax return, and my dad helped me.
Ok, well there's my list. Got anything else to add? The conclusion is, at least from my perspective, being single rocks.
Later!
